The day before the big day...

Yes tomorrow is... the start of the may back holiday ha ha only kidding of course its the royal wedding.. will i watch it... probably mostly out of the fact that nothing else will be on tv..and out of intrigue..although i must admit i like Willaim and Kate and would love if they could be left alone to enjoy their day which of course would never happen but god is it a life you'd want for your children. I mean their whole lives out there for the world to see have an input and give their opinion.. Poor Diana was the first to stand up for her independance and now heres her son and how will he and his wife Kate cope.. hopefully they will and do it as a united front unlike Charles and Diana.. I do feel William loves Kate unlike Charles feelings for his wife on his big day but were will it end up... anyway I wish them well in their future sure no one knows what the future holds do we!!!!
Me myself today how am i feeling?well not bad first day off steriods now this treatment and got through the day ok.. hoping sleeping tab will kick in again tonight and get me a good night sleep. Greg was painting spare room all day so I got to read my book and sit in the front garden and take in some sun twas lovely...  so all in all a good ole day.. think its tomorrow when I normally start getting pain in my joints so im well prepared with my tabs by the bed waiting..
So till tomorrow and the day that lies ahead x x

chemo day 6

Had my 6th chemo today and all went well so far. Only 2 more to go before the dreaded scans think there will be alot of prayers novenas and reading of the secret and calling in the positivity of the law of attraction to get me through these mext 2 months!!
Good thing is I spoke to doc today and told him im not sleeping he said thats normal as all the steriods ive been taking are building up in my system so hence im suffering from insomnia. So hes given me some mild sleeping tabs to help so I cant wait to get to bed tonight and try and have a great sleep...
Didnt do much today just chiiked on couch.. so short and sweet blog today talk tomorrow x

End of bank holiday wkend (till next wkend)

Back home we actually got home at 11.30 as we missed missy so much we decided to check out early...sad i know... but we also avoided all the traffic too by doing that so prefect. Came home and cleaned house from top to bottom as im back in to hosie tomorrow for chemo so like to have the house clean for that wk ahead. Also changed bed sheets so fresh bed now tonight.. love it .. start my steriods as well today need to take them the day before chome for these sessions so im strong enough to take the chemo... weather wasnt too bad today overcast with sunny spells so after cleaning house we headed to woods with missy for a walk twas lovely very busy but lovely.
Then my brother called down at 4 o clock to say they were having a BBQ at 6 if we wanted to join them so we did and twas lovely cooked outside sat in conservatory good crack came back down from there about 8 and my sis rang for france to see how im doing. She was just back from Vienna with her hubby as they were 15 yrs married this wk... how lovely!!!
Im very nervous about tomorrow as I know I getting a lot of side affects for all the medication this treatment so im trying to prepare myself byt having all my meds next to couch and plenty of fruit and bottles of water and sitting room all ready...
I think whats making me more nervous is that this is my 3rd last one and then I have to meet with onthologist about more scans and then fingers crossed the op to remove lump..its like to me if i could just keep going like this getting chemo every 3 wks then I dont have to face up to the whole fact of what happens next? Has the chemo worked? Will I have op? Will I have double masectomy?(which I want) Will I bascially survive?????????
I am very positive and do believe Ill be fine but reality is no one knows ...Not a single person on this planet can tell me "its going to be alright your going to be fine"  which is every cancer p[atients fear and all that you long for from every doctor nurse specialist that you speak to but of course they are trained to not say that kind of thing as they hinestly dont know.. I remember reading a paragraph on this in Emma Hannigan's book "say it to the head scarf" and it was good to know your not the only one how feels this way every cancer patient feels this longing to be told your going to survive..
But chin up and battle on it aint over till the fat lady sings as they say and im one big momma (but cant sing ha ha)

hair is having a night off

Yes im not going mad im currently sitting in the hotel bar with bandana and a glass of vino.. hair is having an early night on the bedside locker. The hotel is a bit disappointing I hate saying, the shower is broken and tap in sink and telly(flat screen) is about to fall off the wall...the breakfast we did not book(room only) but this morning we decided what the hell and went down for full irish.. the waiter didnt even wipe down our table before putting down our tea and coffee(even though we had both ordered coffee) so I wiped it down with the table mats. Then the food itself was cold and dry...20 euro we payed so tomorrow morning tis up early and off down to a local cafe for proper breakfast. I know we only payed 55 euro a night for htoel but that shouldnt matter its a 4 star hotel and shouldnt have these standards. I have stayed here before and it was amazing. Good point we did have a beautiful early bird meal last night 3 courses 16.95euro each brillant price but again not sounding like a moaning lisa but its advertised on lift wall thats its 15.95 euro a head so thats not right. I will post this on the web site we booked it on but not to just complain but so the hotel will see it and might do something about it.. I know I should say it now but I think it would fall on deaf ears most of staff although very nice are jumiors or foreign and i havent seen a manager. I could ask but really not one for complaining and if im honest its not affecting our overall stay and wkend as we are enjoying it !!! Tis great to get away from home and all the 'How u today' which I know is just a caring family but its nice to just be us... hence the bandana tonight im just helen relaxing with greg in bar waiting to go for grub..and may i say tonight is gregs choice an he has choosen hes favourite restuarant 'abrakadabra' ahhh we actually meet over a kebab in Cyprus so itll be very romantic im sure ha ha...
Spent the morning with gregs nan shes 87 soon and is marvellous still bouncing around like a teenager. Then went to gregs mams for the afternoon to see joshua and have dinner. Turkey and ham and 4 kinds of veg including baby potatoes and stuffing and gravy mmmmmm yummy..And yes im going to eat again tonight ah tis easter and technically I haven really eaten a egg yet just choc bar and chocolate carrot (robbed off nephew!!!) Well enjoy the rest of your bank holiday wkend I know I will as this time next wk ill be after my chemo tue and wont be uo to much so live for today and enjoy every secs all peace out ha ha vino kicking in me thinks x x 

blogging on me holidays

Never got to blog yesterday had a busy day and was doing good friday stuff last night. We have a local church chior that sing alot of taize music and its amazing and so uplifting so I went to the prays around the cross last ngiht form 9-12 but slipped away around 11 was kanckered.
Anyway that was yesterday today was a fab day sun shining all day although it was only 16-18 degrees but hey the sun was out I was happy. We left home this morning at 10.45 and arrived in shannon around lunch time to meet gregs mam in the centre for lunch she was delighted to see us. Gregs sis and nephew came too. Joshua (gregs nephew) is adorable he adores greg he calls him "greggy".... ahhhh they both had their munster jerseys on for the match this eve (which munster won by the way 20-22 just over now). Stayed with gregs mam till 4 and then headed into our hotel in limerick and once we parked up twas off to the bar.. greg hasnt had a pint since new yrs eve and i really wanted him to relax and just let himself go these few days. I know all the worrying about me must be taking its toll on him so glad he had a few pints this eve watching the rugby.. of course i had to have a few bacardi's so he wouldnt feel pressured ha ha ya right as if i need to have my arm twisted mmmm.
We both cant stop thinking of our baby at home "Missy" my dad is minding her and I know she'll be fine but cant wait to see her monday already god help us how sad are we....
Watching BGT on tv at the mo and hoping to nod off soon and be nice and fresh in morning as we are heading to visit gregs nan in morning then back to his mams for turkey and ham dinner mmmmmm
and of course chocolate .. bring it on...happy easter all x x

Hottest day of the yr so far

Well well 'what a gods gift of a day' tis day like this i just love going for walks and breathing in the air and vitamin D and feel thankful im alive and able to be out in the sun.. Poor Missy had 3 walks today so shes flat out here on mat. Meet my cousin Trisha for lunch today and her 4 yr old little boy eddie whos adorable but must say a little spoilt.But twas nice to meet up with her and we even went to the local library which I can honestly say i haven been in since Id say I was about 18 nealry 20 yrs ago cant believe its still open but guess what I actually joined it today only  2.50 euro for 12 months i mean come on ya cant let that go and since im not really sleeping lately a few good books would be handy... So got a patricia scanlon novel for tonight and typical ill probably sleep the night through ha ha..
Actually im just about to have a glass of wine to help me sleep was going to have a brandy but think ill try the wine first as brandy brun my throat so fingers crossed. Looking forward to sat now heading away for few night s with greggy x x Tomorrow is good friday but im still off to the gym to meet PT with chick. Thats Jean my bestest bud she does the PT trainng with me as we are too chicken to do it on our own ha ha.. also meeting friend from work MOL whos forty today so we meeting for lunch but as its good friday itll be fish and no dessert ha ha
Off now to watch Katie price make a fool of herself on sky chat tomorrow x x here comes the vino woohoo

Insomnia

Another sleepless night for me last night tis nearly a wk now since ive had a proper sleep and its really starting to affect me im shattered...going to ask about sleeping tabs in hosie next wk just incase i need them but for now its herbal pillow spray and rescue remedy to relax me..oh and sleeping under a sheet and windows open ha ha think ive lost it !!!
Did loads of housework today cos we heading away for wkend and im back to hosie on tue so dont fancy doing it all monday when we get home.. so ironing done washing done tomorrow im going to change our bed sheets (might help me sleep too). Also today I made quiche mmmmm twas yummy have some left for tomorrow as well and I baked a sponge cake but unfortunately i had no recipe so was making it up as i went and lets just say Missy(the dog) enjoyed it ha ha might try again tomorrow..
Heard sad news today of a lady i knew for the supermarket died suddenly she was only in her 40's so its very sad think it was heart attack and once again it puts my illness into prespective as she didnt even get to say good bye to her family it was so sudden. At the end of the day I believe I will kick cancers ass but truly we are all born and we will all die we just have different paths on the way and some are long and some are short but its all about the enjoying the journey and living each day like its our last illness or no illness life is short.
I lost one of my brothers 16 yrs ago this may. He was 33 yrs old married with a 1 yr old little girl... He left home full of health apparently and went golfing with friends and had a massive heart attack on the first tee and died immediately... so when people say to me how strong I am throughout this I just feel thankful that I can be cured please god and have been given the chance to change me life and live every min to the max wearing a smile and brightening peoples lives where i can x x
So go spread the happiness ha ha