Easy like Sunday morning.....

Tis a nice sunny day here today. Greg watching movie Im contemplating going for a walk. Wk has been great lovely few days away for my birthday in druids glen and lovely days out in the wicklow mountains... big change from last year !! Only bad thing is my diet hasnt been great since thurs seem to have let myself go a bit but have kept up the walking everyday so happy with that!So gonna let myself enjoy today now (not over doing it do) and kick ass again tomorrow.
Ive decided to make a list of things I want to complete this wk(making phone calls ive been putting off..clearing out rooms..making my vision board) to name a few. Start as I mean to go on is my new motto no more putting shit off where possible.
Started volunteering during the wk in a charity only 3 hrs but loved it and it felt good. I felt I was doing good not just for me but making a difference...now im not doing much there just a few emails and stuff but just the feeling of doing something you dont HAVE to do is great (i.e daily work routine) but want to do. You begin to realize how a cancer diagnosis not just affects us physically but the mental/emotional affect is so big. The mundane things in life just dont cut it and I hope this feeling never leaves me cos its like a wake up call to life and how we all should be enjoying the here and now and the blessing we have not what we think we should have cos others have it etc...
Anyway im off to enjoy my day so should you x x
Oh today is national hug day so heres a nice big hug to ye all x x

This day 12 months ago....

I started me chemo in the south infirmary. Cant believe 12 months have passed. But Im so happy to be on the healthy side of all this and to top it I weighed myself this morning and Im done 5lb brilliant. I haven't been very strict with the eating but have started making healthier choices and walking every evening with greg.
We got a wake up call last wkend when gregs uncle passed away aged 49 of heart attack fine healthy man no previous complaints. So we both decided thats it now we need to get fit and healthy if we want to stay alive. I know being over weight wont help me in my fight with cancer and greg has 3 other uncles who have all had heart attacks the youngest being 43 so no more excuses for us.
I find it hard to walk as Ive put on so much weight again and my back is acting up of late(had a disc removed in 2010) so it slows me down on the hills but once im out on the roads everyday thats what matters Im not looking to win any marathons or anything.

Diet was going great until......

Ya I lost control today ha ha, while I was cleaning and tidying away Christmas decs I found a lovely box of cadburys biscuits OMG...They were yummy do...but I must admit I have since put them put to my dads room so I wont eat anymore...I have been very good all week now so dont want to ruin it all together. AND its a Friday night and we didnt have take out woohoo proud of myself...need to last for rest of wkend now too. But have walked 2.5km every night this wk except tonight as I had the hospital today just a check up with radiologist and she was very happy with me and will see me again in 4 months so that gave me a little boost too. Even considered going back to work...that didnt last long do lmao. NO I know I will have to start thinking about it soon but whenthe time is right!!!
Booked 2 nights in Druids Glen Co Wicklow for my birthday. Cant wait now my birthday is the 16th I'll be 38 so decided I wont be waiting for my 40th to celebrate its party every birthday for me from now on.

Not a bad day diet wise

Took me a while to drag my arse out of bed this morning but once I did I started off with organic porridge and wholemeal brown bread with herbal tea. Then took missy for a 20 min brisk walk. Kept myself busy this afternoon then by doing some washing and watching movies as I get tired easily still so had to rest up a bit. Dinner was fish and baked pop. I know its alot of carbs in one day but while Im whining myself off the chocolate and sweet stuff I'll keep the carbs to help me stay full. Next week I'll make a start on increasing my protein and reducing my carbs. Had small walk this evening with greg should have been a long walk but got a phone call from garage to collect my car. But happy with the way its going so far....onwards and upwards!!

Happy new year to all x

Well tis the 3rd of Jan already time flies after the holiday season...Today I started my healthy eating and exercise no more excuses. I know I need to do this for my health and future life..Im 3 stone heavier than this time last year and I know Ive had a tough year and am on medication but we do use these things as excuses too don't we(well I do)so im gonna try and blog as I go now maybe not everyday but most days....so ur support is welcomed!!!
UNITED WE STAND DIVIDED WE SPRAWL.........................

12 months on and still kicking ass..

today os my 1 yr since diagnosis cant believe how fast the time went even though its been a long yr. Didnt think it would bother me much and that it would just be a normal day but must admit twas a weird day....tried keeping myself busy did christmas shopping and put up decs and tree but my mind kept going back over the day and how i felt and how i reacted and told everyone....twas just strange but on a positive tis so good to be 1 yr down and in the clear. A friend wrote this on her status today and im stealing it cos i think its well worth a read... 

Tonight brings us the full Long Nights Moon, as the days get shorter and the Winter Solstice approaches with the longest night of the year, we force ourselves to get through the darkness because eventually we will see the sunlight and warmth again. Think about the things in your life that you have had to endure. Now is the perfect time for spiritual magic, a time to evaluate your life, and know that you will survive the dark times. 

When it is cold outside, open your heart and home to friends and family. Reach out to people who might be suffering from the chill of winter, either spiritually or physically. Blessed Be.

Sometimes life just makes us stop and re-evaluate our lives and our surroundings..... 

Its been awhile I know

Yes its been too long since I blogged sorry but life has taken off again in a good way...finished all my treatment now since oct 14th and all is going good so far. Not due back to hospital till Jan 20th and thats just to radiologist not back to breast clinic till June/July...
So at present I am trying to get myself moving again. Mind is willing the body is not but I am building myself up at a nice pace started back walking missy on longish walks about 1 mile- 2 mile walks and im feeling ok. The days I feel not up to it I have promised myself I will just veg out and relax...I did this Monday as I had no energy at all but felt grand again yesterday and today..
Ive started back reading at night in bed and am currently reading a book about Archangel Micheal. I have a fascination for Angels always did but love Micheal...  Love the stories in the book about all the people that believe he helped them out during times of trouble and I know he certainly helped me this past 12 months. I also decided to do out a new vision board for my room so Ive started collecting old magazines to start cutting things out. I feel it'll help me stay positive and there are a few things I would like to change in my present life (one being my weight) so Im going to focus on the positive and hopefully it'll all fall together in time...of course main vision is my health...On that note im off to bed to read and hopefully sleep..night and god bless x x

Second last radiotherapy and machine breaks down

Do u ever stop an wonder "why is it always me" I swear 2 treatments left (or so i thought now its 4!!)and now may b delayed as machine has broken down AGAIN!! Which causing us to be pushed out a day or two due to canceling our appointments ! I know it's inevitable to expect delays in hospital but so close to the end now I can see the finish line noooooooo....But on a positive not It's been a long 11 months but I'm still 6 ft above the ground hey that's something to celebrate for sure!

Saturday morning lie ins .. U can't beat um!!

Was suppose to get up at 5.30 with hubby to watch Ireland play wales in rugger but didn't even hear him get up which males a change but even do it took me forever to fall off to sleep last night I slept like a log!! So happy this autumn weather seems to suit my hot flushes and jeeps me slightly cooler at night. Having bedroom window open probably helps too poor Greg us probably getting pneumonia from it but he's not complaining infairness to him! Anyway Ireland were beaten so glad I didn't drag my arse out now I'm actually still In it I know that's very lazy but I've brought breakfast down and jumped back under covers - why the hell not I say - lol. I've my 20 yr school reunion tonight half allergic to the usual fools as we all had in our yr but have some good friends that I don't mind catching up with so il see how it goes! Can't believe I'm out of school 20 yrs were did it go? What have I done in that time? See that's another reason I hate reunion u question what uv done with ur life till now and start comparing it to the muppets ur allergic to in the first place !!! Well better go drag me arse into shower!!!

United we stand Jugs in our Hands ....

As ye all know October is Breast Cancer Awareness month so I wanted to post up something thats not just a copy and paste because yer not just anybody yer my friends!! I cant stress enough for everyone to check yourselves weekly no matter what your age is or whether you have someone or not in your family who has had Breast Cancer as unfortunately cancer doesnt care who you are how old/young you are, how healthy/unhealthy, tall/small, fat/thin its all down to how observant and aware of your body you are and if in doubt check it out !!!! Forget the embrassement believe me if you dont check it out and it turns out to be cancer the last thing on your mind will be embrassement so GET YOUR JUGS OUT ladies (and gents)...we're all to full of life to let it slip by due to lack of self awareness..
If we can all just make 1 person each aware of self examination and also that cancer is no longer a death sentence to all its treatable 99% of the time now. Ive even see changes in treamtents and diagnosis since Ive been diagnosed last Dec so together we CAN beat this and thats something we need to speak out about and let the youth of today know what to watch for and how to prevent it.
So grab a feel and save the tata's not just for the month of October but weekly and dont be afraid to ask for help...your life is precious all of our lives are and we deserve to live them to the fullest for as long as we can.................
Love Helen x x

9 Down 16 to go......then its freedom...

Yes its flying Ive 9 radiotherapy's done and only 5 more wks or so and ill be finished..Then its party time champagne and dancing all the way! Premature you may say but I say to hell with it I'm clear life is good and we are here for a good time not a long time so bring it on!!!
Cant wait to get back to the gym and shift this weight and start planning for Christmas.
For now tis bedtime im wrecked x

Day 3... Starting to tan nicely ha

Third radiotherapy down only 22 to go! Drove myself again today but Greg driving me tomorrow as he's off so I can sit back and enjoy the trip. All went grand although I noticed tonight while applying my cream that the area has already gone brownish so I'll have a great tan on one boob and one side of my neck lol!! Oh well itll b a conversation starter won't it!
More debs balls on today my other 2 nieces today 'twas worse than a wedding sweet divine the drama.... But they looked stunning and are out partying now!

Day Off today

No radiotherapy today as they were carrying out maintenance on the machine so I had a nice leisurely day to myself. Went to gym this morning and walked for 40mins 10 of which was uphill so Im delighted with that as it getting my legs moving and my blood circulating ...
Had to drop my car to garage today. A fault came up on screen that air bag not working so he gonna take it in tomorrow and check it out he thinks its an electrical fault so fingers crossed cos I dont have the money to be forking out on services etc now..allergic!!!
Helped my neices this evening get ready for their debs tomorrow evening ..false tan and manicures and pedicures going on up in their house tis worse than a wedding ha ha..

Day 2 and what a long day it was......

Today was a hell of a long day... firstly got to hospital and no parking so sat and waited and finally got one. Then when I checked in for treatment they was a 40 min delay so hence I went on twitter for myself to pass the time(of course I did ha ha). Once I finished treatment I had to wait for specialist app which wasnt too late got out in about another hr..then had to hang around till 3pm for appointment with physio to check my arm as the thought I had a touch of lymphodema in it. So from 13.00 -15.00 i strolled around Wilton Shopping Centre trying not to spend money but of course I did...Im in so much overdraft now tis not funny but hey Ill be back to work soon please god can worry about that then... life is for living right now!!
Thankfully after physio gave me a good check over she told me my arm is fine so far no lymphodema so that was great news. Finally got into car at 16.00 and got home for 16.30 ...I was knackered tired.
But good news is I have the day off tomorrow as they are doing maintenance on the machine so not back till thursday so delighted with that...What will I do....

Day 1... Not glowing yet lol

First day of radiotherapy down and not bad at all. Very good system they have. I went in sat on table 3 young nurses then proceeded to push and pull me into place while I lay there weird!! Then they left came back moved me again then left then told me I finished ta? I cudn believe how fast it was and I was expecting noises or beams or some feeling but nothing. I can honestly say and MRI or x ray wud rake longer and b worse !
I've my own park space (well I've a pass to park in radiology space it's not exactly for helen mc Cauley) and they put a barcode thing on back of my book (book is a log of my treatments had one for chemo too) and in morning I just go straight to waiting room outside my machine and swipe the barcode they'll know I'm there then!!
Tired now do not sure if it's treatment or just lack of sleep last night(which it probably is)
So night all sweet dreams

Why is life such a bitch.....just asking!!

Not moaning about myself although life has been a bitch to me too past 2 yrs but put down a hard night last night. Not because i was sick or anything ..it was my neice 18th birthday party in her house and her dad my brother wasnt there to see it and celebrate with her as he passed away when she was only 1 1/2.
You'd have to have known him to understand why it was so hard there last night as he was a party animal always the craic and center of attention and idolised his little girl!!
Even though she never really knew him proper she still talks about him all the time which is great but to me and i know others there last night felt there was a huge gap in that room that you jsut couldnt get away from..Im sure he's watching over her all the time and shes grown into the most beautiful and kind hearted young lady which I know he'd have been so proud of x 
Sometimes you just gotta ask the question ...WHY????

Waiting rooms in hospitals

Well I'm sitting here in CUH radiology Dept waiting room for my trial radiotherapy run. How am I feeling? Well as it's only a trial run I feel weird half excited as to what I'm in for an nervous as to what I'm in for at the same time! It's great to know this will help keep cancer away but how do u tell that to ur brain which is shouting "eh hello u about to b blasted with radiation??" isn't it funny how we spend our lives avoiding such things so we don't get Ill but then when u get Ill ur blasted with the stuff to keep u alive??? I thought as I got older life would make more sense an b less hard to understand but boy was I wrong!!
I think it's time to switch off the brain an let machines just do their job!! As I say today is just the trial so I wont b glowing on the dancefloor over the wkend lol

The mojo is returning......

Just home had a great aqua aerobics class in gym and twas a great feeling being back amongst my gym buddies...and great to feel normal again. Ive signed up for 30 days for 30 euro so even during the radiotherapy which i start next wk i can go and walk on the threadmill or cross trainer and keep myself motivated..
Have my trial run on Friday now for the radio so hopefully all will go ok and I will start them Monday and from then itll be counting down days till im finished my treatment and getting my health and life back to normal again.
Diet well Im being very good plenty of fresh organic vegetables, even started eating peppers green yellow and red and butternut squash. Got a great recipe for red pesto so hoping to make that during the wk see how I get on.
Food today was:
Breakfast - 2 boiled eggs on wholemeal toast and decaf tea
Lunch      - Wrap filled with ham lettuce onion mix peppers and relish and herbal tea
Tea          -  Homemade veg soup including carrots,leeks,onion,butternut squash and potato with a little thyme and salt and black pepper to season...
Snack     - Fry's turkish delight ( i know but the low fat version of choc)
Also walked missy this morning a good 40 mins fast walk so not bad overall .... feel im getting my mojo back woohoooooo....

Well im home at last

What a great wk i had. I feel totally re energized and ready for anything! LARCC was a great place the food was brilliant the staff were fab the treatments were great and i meet some really genuine friends and know im not alone through my journey x Cant wait to get into my own bed tonight do as the bed was like a rock in mullingar so bring on the 6ft x 6ft memory foam mattress woohooo..
Missed my man do twas great seeing him today in train station and of course me baby missy who went hyper when i came in ahhhh.....
Off to bed now x

Day 4 going home tomorrow

Great day today started wit a trip to belvedere house in mullingar! We walked the grounds an gardens an they had a fairy garden wit all fairies an toad stools in it very magical loved it. Then after lunch we had reiki which I found strange I relaxed but my mind wandered a bit I think I'm wornout by allthe treatments which us great I must b after relaxing completely. This eve then we were suppose to go to see multifarnam the new house for LARCC but our manicures ran Overtime so it was too dark but I'm hoping we can go after breakfast in morning I'd love to see it!but I got my nails done an we relaxed with a bottle of wine! Cant wait to see Greg tomorrow an give me huge hug missed him loads!! An my little girl Missy ahh